Living Corpse

So I thought as one of the first things I would do on my blog is upload a story that, I actually wrote in class today as my English Assignment. It was a response to stimulus, and was on power. This is a short story about a girl finding her way out of the dark.  Hopefully you like it. :)

Living Corpse

By standingTall98

They told me that I should write my story down so maybe one day someone might read it and maybe it will inspire them. So that is what I am going to do on this blog. Hopefully it is okay…

White blinding glare is all I see as I pry my eyes open, my head pounding out of my skull. My trembling hand cautiously making its way to my forehead, the cool dampness of the band aid under my fingertips. The touch of the wound triggers images of a car, blood and sirens. An accident and the white glare of a hospital.

I go to stand up, pushing of my white pressed linen sheets that are tucked protectively around me. Blood rushes to my head as I sit up, exploding like a volcano, escalating the torture already happening in my mind.

Why am I sitting? Why am I not standing?

“Stand,” I command in my head something I only did when I was to sluggish to get up in the mornings.

But still my legs don’t move and I try not to freak, suppressing what I don’t want to believe.

“Stand!” I shout again a little forcefully into my head concentrating only on my legs.

But still no movement, I feel the panic pushing up from my stomach. I lean forward to move them myself. “Maybe they are just asleep. After all how long have I been unconscious for… right?” I reassure myself.

As my dry fingers touch the skin on my legs I don’t feel them, not a nerve working.

“I can’t feel my legs.” I whisper to myself, fear creeping up my throat.

I push harder on my legs, still nothing, until I am hitting them trying to feel something! To feel anything at all, any hope whatsoever.

“I CANT FEEL MY LEGS! I CAN’T FEEL THEM!” I scream a blood curdling scream of terror over and over again, until my throat is burning in flames.

I strike my legs harder and harder not feeling anything except the sting in my eyes. The nurses come running in restraining my frantic arms, explaining that the accident had paralysed me from the waist. That there was nothing that the doctors could do, no operation they could perform. But I don’t hear them over the drumming of my head, the beating of my heart and the silence of my tears drenching me face. As I wonder why I wasn’t DEAD!

After that I lost all faith, I heard the nurses talking, saying it was such a shame, that I wouldn’t come back from something like this. That I did have my whole life in front of me. It’s was like they thought I was deaf not paralysed

It took them weeks to get me to eat anything at all. I started looking like a walking skeleton except for the fact I couldn’t walk so really I was just a dead skeleton!

“Apparently you aren’t eating.” A way to familiar smug, masculine voice pronounces from the door way to my private bedroom.

I don’t roll over to look at him. I found this shade of white much more interesting.

“Go way Theodore.” I mumble just loud enough for him to hear and leave. But he doesn’t. I can feel his eyes drilling into the back of my skull. Demanding answers I wasn’t ready to give.

“Wow, not Teddy. I must have done something absolutely horrid.” He mockingly replies, as he walks around my bed to stand right in front of me. His hair as black as a moonless night and his eyes had the same glimmer of fun that always filled his aura.

He looks so perfect, standing on two flawless, fully functioning legs, reminding me of a happier time. A high school time. Where everyone believed that beyond those golden gates that set us free was a utopian world.   Not realising the sinister storm that stood beyond the world of high school.

I haven’t seen him since we graduated, we had promised to always be friends, before he walked out of the gates into the abyss never to be seen again.

I glare up at him, “What do you want?”

“For you to start eating.”

“I am sorry we don’t sell that here.” I retort in a dry sarcastic tone.

“You know you’re killing yourself right?” Concern dripping from his voice, for probably the first time ever.

“I may as well be DEAD! God Teddy! I can’t even go to the toilet myself. If I can’t even do that, how am I supposed to live?! I am just a living corpse waiting to take its final breath!” I scream, crying over the death of my movement.  

Teddy is probably the most furious I have ever seen him, his face may as well be cherry red and steam erupting from his ears.

“You don’t deserve the life you have Amber! So what, you can’t walk! BIG DEAL! Your heart is beating. You are still living, so stuck it up! Because most people in car accidents don’t come out looking as good as you do! You need to get over yourself because at the moment you are letting a disability stop you from being you.”

It’s funny how a little speech like that can change your life without you even noticing. It was that night I willingly ate, though it was only like a pea, but it was progress.

I have come along way since that girl who described herself as the living corpse. I am not going to tell you it was easy because it would be dramatically lying my face off.  It was the hardest thing I ever had to do. And there were defiantly days were staying in bed was the more appealing option. But I got up and kept going. Mostly for myself but there was defiantly a part of me that wanted to prove those nurses wrong and I did!

This isn’t who I am, it doesn’t define me, but it is a part of me and I am not going to let it stop me!

Whatever makes you a living corpse shouldn’t stop you either. So take your life back! It’s way more enjoyable way to live!